The way things ought to be.

Jen's picture

Sometimes I dream of how things ought to be, according to my mind and heart.
I dream of loved ones that left this earth many years ago. I lost my
grandparents when I was a teenager and I wasn't ready. I was a struggling
teen.
I didn't know how much I would miss them, for the rest of my life - until I missed
them for the rest of my life. I used to dream about them at night and would be
so sad when I would wake up from our visit.
I dreamt that I was at their house and things were as they should be. We were
eating and talking and the house was always full of people.
There were times when I would dream that I couldn't find them. I remember a
regular dream that I had about my Papa.
In my mind I knew he wasn't there but everytime I would go to his house in the
woods, he would be there but I was never able to get to him. Either he had just
left or he was in bed or a chair, surrounded by people and I could never get to
him.
I remember I would wake up so frustrated. These dreams were so real. I didn't
deal with his transition as a child. I didn't understand that kind of pain and
so I blocked it out.
4 years ago I visited their home in the woods and felt sad and I just didn't have
any closure. After all of those years, no closure.
With my family in the car, I dropped my head and cried and said goodbye, for
now. At that moment I would have given anything for another hug or to hear
them laugh. But I thanked God for my sweet grandparents. And I received my
closure. I haven't had those dreams since then. I do think of them but I know I
will see them again. I know where they are.
Last night I dreamed of an aunt and uncle that I spent much of my childhood
with. It was a wonderful dream and I was sad to wake up from it.
My uncle was happy and content. My aunt had suffered a stroke in the dream
but she healed quickly and was about her business again. My uncle was
pleasantly surprised at how she healed so fast! He laughed as he told me the
story!
I had a garden at his place and I had large pumpkins and vegetables. There
was company there, the sky was filled with stars and it was perfect. But . . . my
aunt wasn't there. I couldn't find her. She was out and about loving on other
people and I didn't get to see her, hold her hand or hear her sweet voice.
I dreamed of the way things ought to be.
Things will be set right one day but until then, let's love one another while we
are here. Let's not wait until one day all we have is the dream of them.
My dreams of those that I love are proof that we were not made for suffering and
death and loss. We were created for eternity and when I dream these dreams, I
believe it is because I am eternal and somehow I can't quite make sense of loss. I
don't think we are supposed to.
One day He will make things right!